Understanding Love - Chemical Romance Or Poetry in Motion?

Who's arrogant enough to assume they can cover the philosophy of love in approximately 300 words? Not this website. That's like trying to explain why the sky is blue to a five-year old who's already moved on to the question of where babies come from before you've begun answering the first question. Hopefully this section will at least start to help you gain an understanding of what it is deep inside of you that feels the need for love - if you need it at all.

Because it's so obvious, it may in fact not be obvious at all. But when considering what it is that constitutes the perfect wife for you, you should first consider how much you desire to love and be loved...if at all. Sometimes marriages fail simply because the partners don't have a great need for love, and were truly just searching for a comprehensive friendship, taking care of their fundamental needs for companionship. Think hard, are you searching for the perfect wife just because you get lonely? If this is you, then you could be a brave pioneer in a whole new lifestyle of straight partnerships. Imagine that, two straight dudes living together as partners for no other reasons than to have fun doing activities together and to avoid eternal loneliness, vowing to be there for each other beyond the regular roommate relationship. Perhaps a bit odd, but the point is to give due diligence in evaluating your motivation.

The Purpose of Love

Then, there is the highest calling of love, to multiply your happiness and the happiness of others by sharing your life with the perfect match. Achieving a sense of completion and indemnification are often among the rewards of a relationship most frequently reported. Those are definitely positive feelings - if the individual feels some degree of wholeness before hand, and feels comfortable with themselves, by themselves. A spouse should never be gotten simply to fill a void, but rather because you know that person could complement your attributes and you could both grow to be better people and spread joy through the combination of your matrimonial magic. Mutual desire is key here.

Biology of Love

In certain biological respects, we may not have a choice but to love others. The emotional sections of the mammalian brain have evolved to protect young offspring, ensuring that the parent stays near the offspring during its vulnerable period. This may shed a little light, but only a narrow beam of illumination when we're trying to figure out the love between people in at least their twenties.

Understanding Your Inner Self

Let's consider the need to feel safe. No matter how manly you may perceive yourself, and even if you were raised by wolves, your inner self surely seeks some degree of security and protection. Loud social norms and mass media may make it hard for a guy to readily admit that a woman could provide these things, so perhaps it would help to think about women as steel flowers - delicate and beautiful, and yet solid and capable of amazing support and reinforcement. A woman's just got that amazing ability to make life's stressors melt away as if they never existed.

And then there's the chemical romance - the crack cocaine of the love world. Often classified as the butterflies, the initial phase of meeting your significant other is usually catalyzed by physical attraction, and then the molecular tornado tears through. Subconsciously, we actually test each other out on a molecular level to establish biological feasibility - pheromones and hormones. After approximately a few months to a year, this initial subconscious K9-like sniffing and familiarization starts to decline and the brain shifts its functioning to produce bonding chemicals. Through continuous, repeated physical proximity, we exchange vasopressin and oxytocin (bonding chemicals), maintaining a desire to be with each other.

Biology then may explain why countless couples experience a dip in excitement after the first year or from physical separation. The molecules have settled and it's now time to put real effort into the relationship. It's vital to keep this in mind when searching for your perfect wife. Otherwise, you may become a romance junkie, in search of the eternal high.

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